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| i wish there were some way to make sense of everything...and put down in words everything that was felt and seen and...amazing.

my heart and china. facts of life.
i don't like hk as much anymore and yet i still like it.
not looking chinese makes me feel like an outsider.
the center for autism is incredible.
the teachers are supernatural.the children are beautiful.
the orphans and workers at mother's love are loving.
there are little miracles everywhere, but we choose not to see them.
people are as vulnerable as they are willing to be.
friendship is fleeting when only one holds the key.
God changes people and that is the only explanation.
prayer is mighty mighty powerful.
i am taking summer school and i am back in sd.
our ACT family is amazingly orchestrated by the Almighty.
elders teach you everything you want to know about yourself and more.
janice is never going to let me sing you are my sunshine ever again.
you need not much, only the value of what you hold.
the body is a demonstration of instruments that come together to make a beautiful sound.
there is much victory in surrender.
God's Word is living, active, and indeed sharp like a double-edged sword.
its undeniable when people radiate God's love.
open the eyes of my heart...

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| a prayer...when I have no words.
Lord, take me deeper into Your Word...Stormie Omartian
Lord, I thank you for Your Word. "Your Word is a lamp to my feet and a
light to my path". It is food to my soul, and I can't live without it.
Enable me to truly comprehend its deepest meaning.
Give me greater understanding than I have ever had before, and reveal
to me the hidden treasures buried there.I pray that I will have a heart
that is teachable and open to what You want me to know. I desire Your
instruction. Teach me so I may learn.
Help me to be diligent to put Your Word inside my soul faithfully every
day. Show me where I'm wasting time that could be better spent reading
Your Word. Give me the ability to memorize it. Etch it in my mind and
heart. Make it become a part of me. Change me as I read it.
Lord, I don't want to be just a hearer of Your Word. Show me how to be
a doer of Your Word as well. Enable me to respond the way I should and
obey You. Show me when I am not doing what it says. Help me to apply my
heart to Your instruction and my ears to Your Words of knowledge
(Proverbs 23:12). May Your Word correct my attitude and remind me of
what my purpose is on earth. May it cleanse my heart and give me hope
that I can rise above my limitations. May it increase my faith and
remind me of who You are and how much You love me. May it bring the
security of knowing my life is in Your hands and You supply all my
needs.
Thank you Lord, that when I look into Your Word I find You. Help me to
know You better through it. Give me ears to recognize Your voice
speaking to me every time I read it (Mark 4:23). I don't want to ever
miss the way You are leading me. When I hear Your voice and follow You,
my life is full. When I get off the path You have for me, my life is
empty.
Guide, perfect and fill me with Your Word this day.
Lord, teach me how to pray.
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| wow.
Emptiness leaves us wanton till we fill it with whatever secondary appetite might seem to stop our hungers of soul.
The difference between what God wants for us and what we ultimately
become rests in how we break the thrall of those appetites that chain
us to selfish lifestyles and selfish life goals.
When we accept God's vision for our lives, we pray. But it may be
that we expect too much instant revelation from our prayers. We want to
pray for a fiery chariot in the morning and be riding to church in it
by nightfall. We rarely pray for fire and open our eyes to find a box
of matches in our hand.
Thunderclasps and lightning flashes are very unlikely. It is well to
start small and quietly. No need to tell one's friends and
acquintances. No need to plan heroic fasts or all-night vigils...prayer
is neither to impress other people nor to impress God. Its not to be
taken on with a mentality of success. The goal, in prayer, is to give
oneself away. | | |
| i want to die living. matthew 16:26 NASB psalm 56:8 NLT
lately i've been thinking about the role and life of a missionary. i realize that what we consider our present sufferings to be, is nowhere near the persecution christians worldwide face in parts of europe, china, africa, israel...its pitiful how we've become so jaded by our selfish consumerism, our comforts, our sinful indulgences, our flesh.
reading about the underground churches, the crazy fanatics that experience God move in such powerful ways, it amazes me. it makes me want to it see God in all His holiness and splendor just pour out His love onto this campus and these people He loves so much. it feels like..
wow we're really such weaklings compared to these people who daily die and don't hesitate go out on a limb for God. they truly live to die. on a day to day basis, we get so caught up in complaining so much about school and studying, on other things going on, people, and even God forbid, ministry...
we're so stuck in our comfortable bubble that we don't know what it means to submit anymore. submission? what? we're caught up. in a sense, i can see why foreigners hate americans. its not that we're spoiled and rich and that they're jealous, because we have so much and they don't---its more like we can't even see whats in front of us. we don't value what's important, because we're so consumed by the lies we tell ourselves. that this world tells us. bondage. we don't know what living is, because we don't know what dying is.

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